Photo/WES KELLER ADESTE FIDELIS: From left, The Reverends Barbara Moulton, Peter Scott, Cheryl-Lynn MacPherson, Dan Brubacher and Dr. Bill Watson of the Centre for the Grief Journey join an estimated 250-person congregation in the singing of O Come All Ye Faithful at the Egan Funeral Home/Baxter & Giles Chapel Christmas memorial service at Orangeville Baptist Church. More than 250 persons were in Orangeville Baptist Church Sunday afternoon for a memorial Christmas service sponsored by the Egan Funeral Home, and heard a message of hope and inspiration from Dr. Bill Webster of the Mississaugabased Centre for the Grief Journey.

The service was a nondenominational candlelight event, officiated by Baptist Pastor Dan Brubacher, Rev. Cheryl-Lynn MacPherson of Camilla United Church, Headwaters Chaplain Rev. Barbara Moulton, and the Rev. Peter Scott of St. Mark's Anglican Church. Father Paul Dobson of St. Timothy's was unable to attend because of illness.

It was a touching ceremony, in which the clergy lit candles in memory of life and loved ones, and as reminders of "the present pilgrimage," and to "remember our faith and the gift of hope which the Christmas story offers us (and) the promise of a prepared place with no pain or suffering."

Following the service, the congregation lit tree-shaped tiers of candles as their own personal memorials, and were encouraged to collect a memorial candle to light at their Christmas table in memory of a departed loved one.

Dr. Webster, quoting from the Tale of Two Cities said that "how we are" at the moment is how we perceive the world. The first Christmas, he said, was "not the best of times for Mary and Joseph" as there was no hot water, no hospital bed, and no hotel room for the birth of Jesus.

"Christmas cards paint a prettier picture. To Mary and Joseph, the world was an unpleasant place. We see Christmas in terms of 2,000 years of theology."

Turning to the arrival of the Wise Men, Dr. Webster drew what might have been an analogy of life as it truly is: Often nothing is as we expected it to be.

The Wise Men has come for the birth of a king. He said they would have expected to find the new king in the palace but, instead, found Him in a manger. They had found what they had come to find, but in an unexpected way.

"Life can be meaningful even if it doesn't work out as expected. This Christmas, do the things that are important and meaningful to you. Find creative ways to do what's special to you.'

On the "grief journey," he said to share "precious stories and memories" of departed loved ones, rather than to avoid speaking of them. "Focus on pleasant memories, not on death. It takes 100 times more energy to pretend."

It is, he said, important to let grieving people know you remember their loved ones. If you don't share pleasant memories, they might think you've forgotten.

Also important at Christmas, he said, is to "keep it special for the children" by continuing the traditions that we have grown accustomed to. In that way, he said, they'll still have confidence in the future.

"The example of the Wise Men shows that life can be meaningful (even if you have to rewrite the script). Don't let the past spoil the present. Enjoy what you have. Believe in people and in life, love and laughter. Believe in yourself. Believe in a brighter tomorrow.

"Light a candle. There's not enough darkness in the world to hide the light of one candle."

The Egan Funeral Home/Baxter & Giles Chapel service was dedicated to the memory of more than 200 persons.

Dr. Webster encouraged people to visit his website: www.grief journey.com .