I heard an interview a few days ago with the coordinator of a volunteer organization which sews and donates tiny shrouds and bonnets for stillborn babies. As macabre as it may sound, this important service gives parents the opportunity to dress their child with respect, to mourn, grieve, and say goodbye with a knowledge that someone cares about their anguish.

This retired woman is not paid; she doesn't meet the grateful parents or even those who sew. She places the fine thread outside her office door where it's anonymously picked up and - like the story of the elves and the shoemaker - in the morning delicate blankets and bonnets appear. No one is getting a blatant reward: no money, no thanks, no sharing of camaraderie.

So why does she do it? Although a devout catholic she doesn't attribute her altruism to the fear of God. She says it's just human nature to help others in need, to serve.

Why do we do things? What are we looking for? If you're like me you'd answer, "happiness." Happiness, now. Is happiness a warm puppy, as Charles Shultz claimed? Or as Joan Rivers says, "Happiness, at my age, is breathing."

"Happiness Science" is a serious field in which post graduate degrees are offered. University of Pennsylvania psychologist Martin Seligman says he and his team have identified what makes human beings happy, and the areas he describes are overwhelmingly

relational: other people, sex, children, grandchildren, etc. There is something deeply satisfying

about human relationships, close, personal relationships, and serving them.Interestingly, money only works to a point. Once your basic needs are met and you can pay basic bills, more income, while nice, does not produce commensurate amounts of happiness, nothing nearly as dramatic as service and relationships.

The research team has developed techniques to increase happiness. They suggest keeping a gratitude journal. We obsess about things that go wrong, so write three things that went well. Share gratitude with others; the scientists claim it not only will make you feel good, it actually raises your energy level and

relieves pain and fatigue. They say doing five kind acts a week will boost your spirit. The researchers conclude that writing a note to someone for whom you are grateful, hand delivering and reading it to them is the "the single most effective way to turbo-charge your joy."

Reading their suggestions I was struck that all of it is about giving or sharing. Is it really true that acquisitiveness doesn't bring happiness? I do spend a fair bit of time wanting things, hoping for things, and striving to get things.

I intend to pay some attention to how much happiness that's bringing me. It's true, though, that giving is far less stressful, and it's so easy to find takers.