As I walk in the door Theo stares at me with doleful, needy eyes - eyes that say "You can do anything. You can clean my ear with a q-tip, or reach that place on my back that needs scratching. You can open fridges."

I wish he could be more specific. I don't know what the dog is asking for, or even if he is asking for anything. Doleful is a boxer's natural expression.

His food dish is empty. I call upstairs. "Did you feed the dog?"

"No because I just got home. I needed to put the trailer down before it rained. Then I had to empty the car and put the groceries away."

I just wanted a yes or no. The list of reasons for "no" raises a nameless distress in my heart, an annoyance. I tell the dog, "I guess that means no, Theo." But she hears me and throws me a curt "No" without amendment.

As I break open the dog food I ask myself what's going on. I get the feeling I'm being seen as a parent requiring a list of excuses for a chore not done. It feels unfair. I wasn't accusing.

I think 'because' should be considered a dirty word ... banned from polite conversation. It burdens the listener with unnecessary and often misleading information.

'Because' puts an end to exploration. Once we associate a reason with an action it becomes stuck like glue, and there is little room for alternatives.

"I see you are back with Harvey."

"Yes because he needs me."

I didn't ask why. But now she mentions it, "he needs me" lets her ignore why she needs to put herself into abusive relationships.'Because' lets us jump to a solution before the problem is even examined. 'Because' might yield the most logical answer but not necessarily the most truthful.I don't always look for the shortest path to solution. I don't always see problems where others do.

"I didn't go to class today."

Instead of asking why to elicit a 'because' I'm just as likely to say, "cool" or ask if it was fun.

I've given Theo his food. My partner calls out, "Did you pick up the bread?"

"No," I answer. 'Becauses' are desperate to burst out of my mouth like victims trapped in a burning building.

"Tell her I forgot. Tell her I didn't have time. Tell her why, damn it." But my lips are sealed. If she wants to know why, she can ask.The dog has walked away leaving half the food in the bowl. He doesn't explain that he's full, or that he wants to save some for later. 'Because' is not part of his vocabulary. I find that comforting.