Riveted to the screen in an Orangeville bar, watching the dying seconds of a game broadcast live from the wintry confines of Calgary's McMahon Stadium. The field goal kick is up and floats pathetically away from its mark. Melancholy drops like a cinder block on the soul. Life, as we know it, has lost all meaning.

Then, miraculously, like a butterfly in flight, the penalty flag flutters to the turf. It is followed by three beautiful words that resonate throughout the stadium like the heavenly chorus. "Illegal substitution. Saskatchewan."

A second thunderous kick splits the uprights and brings the heathen horde to its knees. All is well, once again, with the world.

In case you haven't figured it out, yet, I'm a die-hard Alouette fan and kicker Damon Duval, who had performed with all the finesse of a tree stump to that point, put through the winning field goal in a 28- 27 come-from-behind triumph with no time left on the clock.

This was typical Grey Cup. Nine times out of ten, the game is a thriller that goes right down to the wire. And here I was, in all my Alouette regalia, watching this great Canadian event in near-empty bars. The few other patrons were rooting for the Roughriders and I'm sure the only reason they were showing any enthusiasm at all was just to tick me off.

On Sunday night, living in the outer reaches of the Greater Toronto area was a curse. The beloved GTA, which pines to be the 51st state, ravenously roots for the Leafs - even though they perennially suck - because they are in the "big league," whose residents throw their heartfelt support behind National Football League teams in cities they have never been to. They, apparently, are intelligent football fans and we Canadian Football League supporters are anachronisms of a bygone era.

To all of them, I utter a collective "bite me."

First off, let's talk about the "superior talent" in the NFL. I remind you of Vince Ferragamo, who led the Los Angeles Rams to the Super Bowl; Dexter Manley, the illiterate university graduate who shone for the Washington Redskins; Ricky Williams, the unstoppable Miami Dolphins running back; some schmuck named Dexter Nottledge, a released former NFL starter who thought he would "play a few games for the Argos to keep in shape for when I return to the NFL."

They all had one thing in common. They couldn't cut it in the Canadian Football League and left in disgrace.

Yet, three former CFL quarterbacks who rose to stardom south of the border - Doug Flutie, Joe Theismann and Warren Moon - only had good things to say about the quality of the league up here.

Okay, okay, I'll admit the CFL has made its share of mistakes. There was that knuckle-headed foray into the U.S. market, which gave us the forgettable legacies of the Memphis Mad Dogs and the Shreveport Pirates. Worse than that was the home game TV blackout rule which did little in southern Ontario but foster two generations of Buffalo Bills' fans.

Still, for all Torontonians who feel it's their divine right to have an NFL team, have all the

major sports" in your back yard and only then be a true global metropolis, don't hold your breath.

Oh sure, a Toronto NFL team would more than likely bring outside tourist dollars into the local economy. But at what cost? When Jacksonville got its NFL team in 1995, it cost $625 million American just to get the franchise. At the time, that was the equivalent of almost $1 billion Canadian.

On top of that, the municipality offered up a virtual tax holiday to the new team. Such tax holidays are illegal in Canada and, besides, it's not in our national psyche for a small business owner to dutifully dole out his taxes while some billionaire gets off scot free because he's presenting the masses a three-hour spectacle every second Sunday for three months of a year.

Even if Toronto breaks the rules and gives some guy, or syndicate, carte blanche to bring in a team. What's to stop them from making a move in the future to some other market that makes them a better offer, like Robert Irsay did with the Baltimore Colts and Art Modell did with the Cleveland Browns?

On top of that, Toronto folks, Los Angeles is going to get a team way before you do.

Just give me Anthony Calvillo dissecting a defence with his pin-point passes and Kevin Glenn coming off the bench to pace the resurgent Ti-Cats to a come-frombehind victory.

Give me Larry Taylor and Tristen Jackson busting loose for a kickoff return TD on the wide open Canadian field. Give me the circus catches by Ben Cahoon, the crushing sacks by Ricky Foley and John Chick.

And give me Barron Miles prowling at his free safety position and coming up with the meticulously timed interception.

It may deploy a lot of Americans, but this is a Canadian game and it has stood the test of time while other pro leagues

USFL, World Football League, and Arena League) have withered and died.

And for all you "enlightened" folks who would rather watch a bunch of mastodons crunch each other on a postage stampsized field in Arizona than watch the Grey Cup, your loss on Sunday was worse than Saskatchewan's.