The following are the winning entries in the limerick contest that has challenged local ‘poets’ during the autumn of 2009.

The guidelines suggested that entries should include the names of places, persons or businesses in Dufferin County. Those selected include Camilla, Grand Valley, the Hockley Valley, Horning’s Mills, Laurel, Mono Mills, Orangeville, Primrose and Shelburne.

Whether the limericks refer to actual persons or events is not known. Local merchants missed the opportunity for some free advertising.

The editors and the judges, William Bothwell and Clare McCarthy (who has a collection of over 3,000 limericks) reserved the right to alter wording where thought necessary.

The following are published without acknowledging individual authors. No men chose to put their thoughts into ‘verse lite’.

The winning authors are 1) Jean Turnbull of Orangeville 2) Jean Benson of Loretto 3) Isabel Bospoort of Shelburne. They should expect their prizes in the mail after Christmas.

There was an old lady in Dufferin

Who was so short of breath she was sufferin’.

She travelled with pills in her bag

And heard her ‘Doc’ nag,

“Don’t leave without putting your puffer in”.

An erudite man in the ‘Huckley’,

Though loathe to move, as he said, ‘luckly’

Soon settled down

In Orange Lawrence’s town,

And continued to write there ‘instructly’.

A man who lived near Mono Mills

Loved his nice home mid the Mono hills

That is, till the day

When to his dismay

He could no longer afford his Mono bills.

A lady who lived at Camilla

Liked chocolate best until a

Man whom she met

Soon made her forget

And now they both favour vanilla.

A racer who lived in Grand Valley

Was hoping to win the Grand Rally

But speed made him swerve

And crash on a curve

And now injuries are all he can tally.

A student then living in Shelburne,

Hoping his lessons to well learn,

Would night after night

Read, study and write

But morning alarms just had to spurn .

There was a young fellow in Primrose

In love with his face and his trim nose.

His gal took a snapshot

That was really a slapshot

And it showed the worst knock knees in Primrose.

There was a young man from Grand Valley

Who met a sweet lady named Sally.

They talked for a while,

Then she said with a smile.

“I think you’d be right up my alley”.

Hikers then living in Horning’s Mills

Were plagued on their walks by the morning’s chills

Till, clothed in thick layers,

They abandoned those cares

And no longer avoided ‘the Mill’s’ chilly hills.

There was a good lady of Laurel

Who was kindly and ever so moral.

She fell on her face

In a funeral place

But, still alive, left without quarrel.

Soon an ambulance guy

In the wink of an eye

Had her stretchered and carefully transported

To the place on the hill where you go when you’re ill

And the good woman healed by and by.

We conclude:

Whether a lim’rick contest county-wide

Was worthwhile you can now all decide.

We just wanted to test

Who might qualify best

In verses complimentary or snide.