I have moved recently. must admit, I was a bit traumatized by the realization that my house has to look “perfect” all the time.

We often had perspective buyers come through with less than one hour’s notice; so when I left the house for work in the morning, everything had to be “show ready”. I spent lot of time running around the house checking for things like toothpaste spit in the sink and teenage boys’ underwear on the floor. It was a constant headache. I'm getting grey hairs just thinking about it!

I remember on one occasion walking down the stairs for about the tenth time, and noticed, on the landing, a small stuffed bear that usually sits on rocking horse in the corner. The bear was on its head, the rocking horse tipped over, and I realized it had been that way for several days. I muttered to myself as straightened it up, “Everyone walks by this 100 times a day, and no one can be bothered to fix it”. Of course, I included myself in that statement. To be truthful, I stopped noticing. I just got used to it looking like that.

Suddenly, the familiar pang of spiritual recognition came to me. The Lord has been prompting me again to look at matters of integrity, and what I had stopped noticing in my own life.

How many sins had been allowed to linger in my life, unchecked, until the point that I failed to notice, or even to care? As I began to review what the Spirit’s ‘still, small voice’ had been gentling reminding me of over the past weeks, I was deeply convicted by my negligence. Prideful attitudes, critical thoughts, exaggerations, careless remarks, selfrighteous judgments - it was all there, and I knew it. I just somehow rationalized that it was okay. I felt God telling me, clearly, “It's not okay”.

Just like the teddy bear upside down for so many days, I had “walked by” the Holy Spirit’s prompting and chosen to brush it off. I also realize that if I knew others were looking, I’d have different eyes to view my messy home. If I knew perspective buyers were coming, I guarantee everything would be straight, clean, and in its place.

In the spiritual sense, I don't really want to wait for someone else to point out the places where integrity has gone askew in my life, although I'm quite sure these are things that others notice right away.

One thing I do know for sure, Scripture clearly tells us that gaps in integrity are going to trip us up sometime. I’m so thankful the Lord won't let us continue, but He faithfully brings reminders our way. Twice during that same week had come across this verse: “The integrity of the upright guides them, but the unfaithful are destroyed by their duplicity” (Proverbs 11:3)

Thank you, Lord, that you make us stop and take a look at ourselves the way you see us. Thank you, Lord, that you care about the littlest things, that threaten to erode our relationship with you and hinder our testimony. Thank you that you provide lessons, even through housework, to remind us that every part of our life is yours and should be lived that way.

Ann McCallum, Highlands Youth for Christ